How Do You Know If Your Goals Are Good Goals?
By jewelscarter, Jan 22 2016 10:54AM
After a particularly positive networking group yesterday I could not help but notice how similar we are when it comes to our own development. It followed on nicely from a week of intensive free coaching to establish if my observations are genuine, and can we quickly set the process in motion to end stagnation.
What I did notice was that there are 5 traits of goals that are likely to be achieved.
1. You Want It – Really Want It.
This may sound obvious, but actually when you ask yourself what would you like to have happen? Do you say the same thing everytime? When you ask this is it what you really want, a habit or what you think is expected from you?
So when you ask yourself what you would like – also ask what happens if you don’t get it? If it is a should want rather than a real want then this is an ego issue and about how you will look to others – a common limiting belief. So what would you prefer?
2. It Is Authentic To You.
Another obvious one we think, but it may be what we want, but we adapt it to fit with other’s expectations. For example, a loved one that wants the best for us, so they tell us to take an easier path or more obvious path. This compromise – and there are compromises to be made – may well be the step too far that takes us from our want to have to becoming a should have. The effect is exactly the same as for step one, we just don’t throw ourselves into it – worse everyone we try to sell it too will know our heart isn’t in it and won’t believe us.
3. It is Realistic
When I trained as a coach the first model we were introduced to was the GROW model: Goal, Reality, Obstacles and Will to act. It is currently trendy to think big, and if you don’t think big enough you shamefully lack ambition, which seems to be drowning out the second quarter of this useful model.
You have to stretch yourself, but it needs to be sensible. You wouldn’t go to the basement without taking the stairs one step at a time (or two if your muscles will stretch that far). So aim high, as high as you want to – remember if it ambition for ambitions sake everyone will see through you – and break it down into sensible sized steps.
4. Does It Flow?
Do you feel like you are constantly fighting an uphill battle to reach your goal? Does it feel difficult and arduous? If so you need a tweak. This is a sure fire sign that there is some mismatch between your want and your should. So check if it is a real dream or an expectation, that it is your dream and that it is shaped and scaled to fit you. Maybe you need to change the size of your steps.
Also part of the flow is being responsive to the opportunities available to you in your environment. This is not being distracted by shiny objects but asking if this chance could be helpful to your dream.
5. You Define Your Success and Failure
Often we decide what it will look like and how we will know when we have reached our goal, but do we ever ask what failure will look like? Probably because we don’t want to think about it, and quite rightly too, but in doing this we are ignoring an elephant in the room and allowing our brain to protect us from this by holding us back.
So define your failure points…but don’t just assume that this means you have failed per se…rather identify them as flags – when x happens its time to adapt the plan by. In business it is often called contingency planning, or more colloquially as planning for the worst but expecting the best. Once you have accepted it could happen and you can deal with it, then how can you fail?
All this research has led me to stepping outside my own comfort zone and trying something I have always wanted to do – and that is to run my own webinars. I am facing my fear of the camera (well webcam) and sharing with you how these observations can be shaped into 3 simple steps to start you on your journey to building the best 2016 ever….if you would like to join me then email me here. Its FREE and will give you one simple action you can do daily to keep you moving in the right direction.
It would be great to see you there.